Perlis, the land of Harumanis mango, must be worth a visit, as valuable as any sojourn to Paris or Luxembourg would be

THERE are too many people humblebragging to me about escapades to Paris, London, — the Arctic Circle even — lately. 

“Ooo it is too cold, not nice and warm like Malaysia,” one caption on the insta would read. 

“The food is ok la but I miss ‘nasi lemak’,” an uninvited text from one of my rich friends reads. 

You get the idea. 

Anyway, that got me thinking that I too need a couple of days away in some exotic place. I am thinking of Perlis. 

The smallest state in the Federation, Perlis is exotic on account that for all the years I’ve been living in this blessed country, I have never spent a night in that northernmost state. 

Of course, I’ve had flitting vignettes through the window of a speeding train/car on the way to Padang Besar or Langkawi, of “padi” fields and sugar cane fields, but have never actually visited it properly and we’re familiar with the Perlis jokes that even Perlis people find funny, to a point. 

But it must be worth a visit, as valuable as any sojourn to Paris or Luxembourg would be. Come on, it is the land of the Harumanis mango and the “Pekngaaa” what’s not to like? So, for so many years, even as my job takes me all over the globe, Perlis just sits there quietly, a mysterious siren beckoning her mangoes just out of reach. It must be more than the border area between Kedah and Thailand. 

But ever since I acquired a son-in-law, who is a member of the Perlis diaspora, a couple of years ago the case for a visit has grown. 

I now have a first-hand source about the state. 

First of all, he said, there are many untruths about Perlis circulating out there. 

“Number one,” he said. “Perlis has more than nine people living in it. 

“And no, you cannot see all of its glory from the top of a tree.” 

He said this in a deadpan voice, like it’s the millionth time he’s had to defend the joke. 

Armed with the knowledge of a potentially free tour guide, I broached the idea of a road trip, maybe a three-day weekend to Perlis. 

“What are we going to do? Eat Harumanis for three days?” said one offspring. 

“Babah, when you said we were going to somewhere exotic I thought it meant that it would be 

exotic for us, Perlis is only exotic for some Youtuber from Sweden, or those depressed Japanese from Tokyo,” said another. 

My youngest, who seems to have inherited a sharp-edged wit from somewhere, was more succinct. 

“How about we go to Penang for three days and see Perlis on the way back,” she said. 

But they forgot about my son-in-law. 

He recommended we visit the “Nipah” plantation on account that is worth going for the seafood restaurant there alone, never mind the fascinating sight of sugar palm being processed into “Nira” water. Some friends will get excited to expect “Tuak”, a mildly intoxicating drink made from fermented “Nira”. 

Then you can go sunset viewing with the locals, which I pointed out to him we can very well do in Bagan Lalang (it’s nearer) or Batu Feringghi ( just because). 

“But you can’t see a gorgeous sunset, AND listen to the lilting dialect of Perlis telling you to move out of the Instagram shot.” 

In fact, Perlis has more seaside real estate than it knows what to do with that they built three-storey condos just for swiftlets on prime water edge land. 

Probably the seaside view would produce better quality bird-nest mucus that is part of the global billion-dollar bird nest soup market. 

Then there are the mysterious mass graves of Wang Kelian, which also incidentally is a scenic hilltop where you can actually see most of Perlis and a bit of Thailand too. 

Even before he rattled off a list of caves and food groups that I’d never heard of before and natural attractions like Timah Tasoh, the lake in the middle of the state, I was sold. I also had to cut him off before he suggested a visit to the co-parents-in-law. 

We are going to Perlis at the next three-day weekend and no diverting to Penang this time too. We’re going locally exotic. 

Bet the kids would be happy to Insta their visit, they would thank me later. — pic Bernama

• ZB Othman is an editor at The Malaysian Reserve. 

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• This article first appeared in The Malaysian Reserve weekly print edition